It seems that all you are saying is simply conceptual. It makes no difference if I think of myself as consciousness or not. The suffering remains.
I am sorry about the suffering. I have gone through that and I know exactly what you are describing.
It certainly is all conceptual. But the concepts are pointing beyond the conceptual in a gamble that our sight may turn that way.
Thinking is not all equal. Some thinking supports the ego’s sense of separation. Some thinking invites Truth and is a reflection of truth.
The ego was conditioned to think we are the body and the personality. That is a deeply build-in assumption that most people never question. And, along with a heavy emotional charge, it supports the ego’s sense of separation.
What I am doing here is offering concepts to spur questioning of those deep untruths we carry in our psyche.
As for thinking making a difference or not, that it totally out of my and your hands. In fact, understanding that it is out of our hands can already have a significant impact on the degree of suffering experienced. It may in fact, eliminate the suffering because individual powerlessness is in itself a facet of Truth. And Truth sets us free.
John Wheeler told me that I am the Sky and that the personality, the body and the ego are clouds. That had a role to play in the Awakening that took place shortly after. And the Truth pointed at remains the source of peace in my daily life now.